I’m currently buried in New America—the sun hits the unfamiliar Arizona desert much differently than the Appalachian mountains of the Northeast. This highly anticipated yearly work retreat trip has shushed my life into silence. A screeching halt to work and school in mid-December, followed by a week of Christmastide in New Hampshire, followed by the frenzy of the New Year in Boston feels absorbed into this desert silence. The holidays are stretched out behind me—the blank canvas of winter and January runs ahead. I am suspended, for this small moment in time, looking back and forward, feeling light and in no rush to move.
The work planning, goal setting, yearly data analysis, and heavy lifting for the new year has been more intense than past years—mainly due to neglect and lack of clarity in 2023 as a “business owner.” The J in me is happy to get it sorted and sustainable, and this time overall has been remarkably fruitful. I have been aligning my business actions with my business vision and as I stand on the precipice of another year, I am so grateful that the Lord still obviously wants me where I am in work. Psalm 90:171 has been my whispered prayer and meditation, may it be also with you and your fevered dreams for 2024. I stand on the precipice of a new year where it is time to lay all of life—both the known and unknown—before the Lord.
Reflecting on the margins of 2023, I love that I’ve been able to make so much non-work art and engage with creative community. Last year remains a record high for creative community. From Square Halo, to Hutchmoot UK, to COTC’s Art’s Collective, to Art In the Round—these mile-markers have walked with me throughout 2023 and kept the questions alive.
Another question, the one of New Years resolutions, has filtered through the air like a formality. “What are your 2024 resolutions?” We are not resolution people, I’ve learned, we are ongoing-continual-goals transformation people. As I’ve been reading the Ins and Outs lists, the yearly recaps, the resys, the “words” of the year, everything on my list for 2024 remains:
continue to make more art
continue to be surprised by life
continue to remember my why
play pickle ball2
Remember your Why
Laying life before the Lord, I have been convicted that I often take something easy and make it hard. Why? Because, at some level, I love hard and complex. I want more from the mundane and concrete. I want to wring the deeper meaning out of events, people, conversations, etc. and while it sounds crazy—I can take the simple, essential, and easy and make it extremely hard.
It’s like ascribing meaning to people, places, and things where it is disproportionate to the priority-impact of that thing.
This serve’s no one and conflicts with my greater Why for things, which is resoundingly about loving God and neighbor well. That’s a fast “out” for 2024.
Remembering the reasons behind the actions solves the unnecessary complexity. Clarity can be held within the reason for our being. The questions I’ve been asking are: Why do you do what you do? Why are you friends with certain people? Why are you pursuing the work, the study, the hobbies, the experiences, the art that you are? If we’re going to soul-minimalist our way into the new year, then resurrecting the greater why is essential.
For the love of God, don’t make easy hard.
Remembering your “why” also forces you to be honest with yourself about what you want. What do you want? Are you able to be honest with yourself about what you want? A few months ago, I honestly told my spiritual director what I wanted.
“Have you been honest with God?” she asked.
“No?”
“You should ask him what it would look like for you to be honest with him.”
I did. Turns out asking God how to be honest with him ends up a lot like being honest with him. Of course God already knows the truth, but the whole point is for you to bring the truth to God.
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There is a chapel in Sedona that I attended today (because on Sundays we go to church amen hallelujah.) This southwestern outpost of Christianity held the most interesting people who were brave enough to make it through the unexpected snowfall of last night. I sat behind a man whose face and arms were covered in tattoos. His fashion fedora covered a freckled head and I watched him, arms outstretched praising Jesus and receiving communion from a church elder whose eyes crinkled with kind knowing. There was something about this rabble band of Arizonians who, with simplicity and joy, worshipped the king in a small mountain town and didn’t let it get complicated. The service left me with a newfound conviction that the Lord cares about this kind of simple humility and contriteness of spirit. He does not want my complicated sacrifices of praise. In the realest of senses, Jesus makes things simple. And he is always the ultimate Why.
So here we are, in 2024, a shiny new year—ours to steward, ours to live, ours to enjoy and labor over. What clarifying questions are you asking yourself?
And beyond that, are you going to take action on that clarity? There are many true things in life, but more often than not, wisdom demands action. I have learned that being a true person is an identity I can live out in my head, but being a wise person is something that involves the body. It moves the hands and feet toward that truth, instead of existing in the dream-like state of an inaccessible conciousness.3
Is this Wisdom that I seek?
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With all this talk of goals and action, it would be remiss to not mention my goals and dreams for Exile Aesthetic. EA is my outlet for creative thought and images, and it will remain in that lane. In short: this is for fun, and having fun is creeping higher up on my list of life values and whys.
Happy new year, friends!
“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!” - Psalm 90:17
I shared these thoughts with friends at a NYE party and already have some pickle ball companions for this summer, so let’s consider this goal halfway done
It’s the INFJ in me okay I’m sorry
Yes to embodied wisdom. Yes to creativity. Yes to fun. Just, yes.